Monday, August 11, 2008 – On the Champs

It's true. Paris does shut down in August, but Our Man in Paris, Ric Erickson, editor of MetropoleParis, tests that contention with walk up the Champs-Elysées, to see what's new.

Not Much New On the Champs-Elysées

Paris - Saturday, August 9 - If I can't think of anything I pick someplace to go and see what I can find. Because five out of six bakeries are closed - the one whose oven blew up, reopened - and there's some free parking slots, it's total dead-centre, August. I decided to go to the Champs-Elysées and see what the tourists are doing.

For all knew they were all in Beijing or on the Riviera. But already on the métro I sensed that I was wrong. Hanging from the poles, scanning the line-map, t-shirts with messages, fully charged cargo shorts, they were heading to the Etoile to give it a dekko.

So I noticed the women with scarves and heads in bags. It's getting more like the Arabian Nights here. Plus there are the lady tractor drivers from Bulgaria or that place that's having a war this weekend. Does everybody know that the road from the airport to Tbilisi is named George Bush? Small wonder we have so many exotic visitors these days.

Up on the surface there was a huge and colorful mob around the passage entry to the Etoile, beside the red tour buses. People dressed like neon, except the ones hiding under their tents. None of them struck me as unusual, other than you don't see them where I live in the outer 14th arrondissement. I wasn't surprised and nothing they were doing - taking photos of each other - seemed untoward enough to shoot.

Over by the Cartier mansion, the ladies especially, were pressing up to the windows to see the real versions of the fake bags they already bought from the street dealers at Barbés. TV-news showed the customs agents seizing the knock-offs by the container-load in Cannes or someplace. Why do women need so many different bags?

Same thing by the windows at Vuitton, except many seemed to be using them as photo decor. Backs to the glossy displays, smiling at Fouquet's, maybe hoping to see Belmondo but more likely not even knowing what they were seeing.

Since I was there I went in to the Peugeot showroom in the hopes of seeing a timeless example of French flair. That was a Bingo in the form of a dreamcar, in a round form, a balloon, with a wonderful machinist's cabin, without doors and alas, no apparent wheels.

Since the sidewalks are so wide, many of them are covered with café terraces. These are often like gated communities, offshore islands, with the thousands of pedestrians funneling between the cafés and the terraces. Tourists sitting down are even less interesting than tourists taking photos of themselves. Having the thrill of a lifetime for a six buck Coke, or more if they have kids.

To be fair I should mention that the construction sites on the avenue are far fewer than in the past. In fact you see hardly any construction cranes up on the skyline. They must have finished rebuilding Paris. It's either about time or it's the sub-prime crises.

Since it was Saturday there were the usual exotic cars on parade. There's no free parking, no street parking at all, so you have to spot these on the fly, unless they are double-parked in a traffic lane. But since most cars are black these days there wasn't much to see. Like a dirty Maserati coupé with Swiss tags.

I glanced in the Renault showroom after skipping Toyota entirely. Nothing new on the planet Renault. I don't count the new Twingo because it doesn't look like a Twingo. I didn't look in the jewelry windows, nor the snazzy watch windows. I passed Disney's windows completely. I never go in Fnac or Virgin. If I wasn't looking for something for this piece I wouldn't even be on the avenue.

Final peep at Citroën's townhouse. I think it had the same weird mini cabrio as two years ago. Citroën is wierd on purpose and Renault can't help it. Less weird, they had two of their rallye cars downstairs. Stealth bombers dressed in neon. Folks bringing in their kids for a thrill. The building is worth a visit. Light and silly, compared to Renault's heavy-handed darkness.

Looking over the photos later I made the score one for 40. Even that one is a stretch - a car with no wheels. Maybe this was more actual than I thought. It must be awfully cheap on gas. Park it in the living room and watch the widescreen TV. Don't need a license or insurance either. Remember you saw it right here, on the Champs-Elysées, notional center of the French world.

~ Ric

Text and Photo, Copyright © 2008 - Ric Erickson, MetropoleParis

All text and photos, unless otherwise noted, Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 - Alan M. Pavlik